52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks - Week 19

Joe, Mom and me ~1956

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there, and also to all the women who have served in the capacity of “mom” regardless of birthing circumstances. The writing prompt for this week is, of course, Mother’s Day. For most of my life Mother’s Day was, in my mind, a time to celebrate my own mother. Even after I had my first child in 1985, it never felt like “my” day. After all, my mom had been doing the job a whole lot longer than me.

When she died in 1989, the “Mother” disappeared from “Mother’s Day”. Instead of a day of celebrating, it became a day of mourning. It was many, many years before I could even begin to look at Mother’s Day cards again. The fact that my son barely got to know my mom, and that my daughter never had the opportunity to do so, still breaks my heart. She was such an important part of me, and a wonderful and fun-loving person, that it is a shame they didn’t get a chance to share their lives with her.

me, Andy and mom 1989

my sister and me
Mother's Day 2013

I’m grateful for my older sister who, due to the difference in our ages, often seemed like a second mother to me as I was growing up. Our roles are different now that we are grown up, but she has been such a support to me as she felt our mother’s loss every bit as strongly as me. We try to get together on Mother’s Day, and that has helped with our healing.

I’m also blessed to have a mother-in-law who has always been a strong role model for me throughout the 40 plus years that I have known her. She is my mom in all the important ways, and I pray that we have many more Mother’s Days to share.

my mother and father-in-law with my mom and dad
Mother's Day 1979

Family Search 52 Stories Week 33

Today is my mother-in-law's birthday, so I wanted to use a writing prompt that involves mothers.

Who are some other important mother figures who have been influential in your life?

My mother-in-law and I first met at Iowa State when I was 19 years old and dating her son. She has been a part of my world for over 40 years, and I can't imagine my life without her in it. Lorraine is a very loving, compassionate and affectionate woman. She is called Honey by her family, and the nickname is perfect for her. I know that I have been extremely blessed in the in-law department. You hear so many stories and jokes about mother-in-laws, and honestly I just can't relate to any of them. Early on in our marriage, I gave her a framed photo of the poem shown below.

Through our relationship I have learned to be a better cook (she gave me wonderful recipes), experienced the rare pleasure of conversing with someone who actually listens attentively when I speak (she truly cares about what people are telling her), and most importantly been a better mother to my own children (I hope) by observing her interactions with her family.

I was only 32 when my own mother died, and Lorraine has filled a very large whole in my heart. She has been an outstanding grandmother to my kids, having the kind of relationship with them that I was never able to have with my own grandparents. I hope to someday have the opportunity to be that type of grandma myself.

The bonus mother that God gifted me with has enhanced my life beyond words, and I could not love or respect her more were she the one who gave birth to me. It's just an added bonus that she makes homemade brownies and cinnamon rolls that could put the mall bakeries out of business.

Happiest of birthdays to my mother and my friend!